Sans angels and avas
by erkman3
Summary: The world is reborn by Shinji’s wish, but this time without angels or evas. The world moves almost normally…well, almost. Shinji keeps all his memories of how things were, and to everyone else, and odd sense of de ja’vue. This is how things may have been.
1. Default Chapter

**Disclaimer: **This doesn't exist. I was never here……but, in the small chance I was (witch I wasn't) I do not own any rights to Evangelion. This is my first time writing a short story, so I would like to not get sued……please. If suing must ensue, sue erkman3…..he helped. You wouldn't get much from him though, he's poor. He's got a computer, but that's not much to give.

**Summary of idea: **The world is reborn by Shinji's wish, but this time without angels or evas. The world moves almost normally…well, almost. Shinji keeps all his memories of how things were, and to everyone else, and odd sense of de ja'vue. This is how things may have been.

**Prologue: Sans Angels and Evas**

This Rei, is your heart. She embodies your hopes and dreams. _"What is it you wish for?"_

"No one understands me."

_You never understood anything._

"I thought this was supposed to be a world without pain and without uncertainty?"

_That's because you thought that everyone else felt the same as you do._

"You betrayed my feelings!"

_You misunderstood from the very beginning. You just believed what you wanted to believe._

"Nobody wants me, so they can all just die."

_Then what is your hand for?_

"Nobody cared whether or not I exist. Nothing ever changes so they can all just die!"

_Then tell me, what is your heart for?_

"It would be better if I never existed. I should just die too."

_Then why are you here?_

"Is it ok for me to be here?"

Silence……silence followed by panic, screaming, a hundred negative thoughts.

"Should we be one?"

I don't understand. I don't understand what reality is.

_You can't bridge that gap between your own truth…and the reality of others._

I don't' know where to find happiness.

_So you only find happiness in your dreams_.

Then this is not reality, this world where no one exists.

_No, it's only a dream._

Then I don't exist here either.

_This convenient fabrication is your attempt to change reality._

Is that wrong?

_You were using fantasy to escape reality._

Why can't I dream that I'm alone?

_That is not a dream. That is a substitute for reality_

But where is my reality?

_It is at the end of your dream._

"Ayanami, where are we?"

_This place is a sea of LCL. The primordial soup of life. A place with no AT fields, where individual forms do not exist. An ambiguous world…where you cannot tell where you end and others begin. A world where you exist everywhere…and yet you're nowhere all at once. _

"Is this death?"

_Not quite. This is a world where we are all one. This is the world you wished for_.

"But this isn't right. This feels wrong."

_If you wish for others to exist, the walls of their hearts will separate them again. They will all feel fear once more._

"Okay then. Thank you."

"Don't worry. All living creatures have the power to be brought back to life…and the will to go on living. Anywhere can be paradise, as long as you have the will to live. After all, you are alive, so you will always have the chance to be happy. As long as the sun, moon and earth exist…everything will be alright. Will you be alright?"

"I still don't know where my happiness lied. I'll still think about why I'm here, and whether or not it was good to come back. But that's just stating the obvious over and over. I am myself.

**Chapter 1**

Shinji blink. Awakes, and panic sets in. "Where, why, how!" Just some of the questions that flash through his mind in a second. He realizes where he is, was before. Standing now where he had been sitting seconds before, and yet, months ago. "This is where it started." Shinji looks down to his hand and sees the papers he's holding. Security clearance, a note, and a picture with the words…"P.S. Note the cleavage" written on it. He remembers, no thinks again, "Weirdo."

"I should try to call. It won't matter though. All the lines are down." _"Due to unforeseen problems all lines are currently busy. Please hang up and try your call again." _ Shinji hangs up the phone, "Yeah, I know." A flicker in the corner of his eye.

"Ayanami!...no, just some birds" A smile floats across his face. "She'll be here in a minute. Late…..again."

Standing at the side of the road Shinji could hear screeching tires getting closer. "Block and a half away and around the corner…."

More screeching tires

"Almost here…."

Then Misato's blue Alpha skidded around a corner and speeded to the train stations parking lot. Shinji doesn't move. The car speeds closer, Shinji still doesn't move. Still getting closer there is no sigh of the car slowing down. "Maybe I should move…." Shinji said to him self. Then stepping to the side, just as Misato's car skidded in to the empty spot where Shinji was standing. Moving his arm away from his face, the dust settles and he could see the window roll down.

"Ikari Shinji?"

Misato's voice was soothing to Shinji, the last time her hear her voice was just before she pushed him in to the elevator. It was also then he realized she was shot. But this time things where going to be different, things where starting over truly from the beginning. He had placed it all together.

"Funny it feels like I sort of like Déjà vu." Misato said with a laugh. "Hop in I'll give you a left to your Dad's office."

The ride is erratic, panicky….life threatening. A thought passes through Shinji's mind.

"I thought I'd be ready for this ride. I guess I think I should be ready for a lot of things."

"Misato, am I going to have to help you flip the car back over again?" Misato thinks a moment, remembers something and forgets it just as quickly. "What's that Shinji?"

"Oh nothing. Just curious about what's to become of me."

Misato glances over, "I'm sure the meeting with your father will go fine. He's excited to see you, well….," awkward "I'm sure he is." Shinji sighs to himself, and looks out the window. They pass a battery store on the right, no need to stop anymore.

She hands Shinji a booklet. Absentmindedly, he sets it aside. "Not going to look through your Gahurn manual, Shinji?" "Oh, no need to i guess Misato. I already know what's not in it. Wait, did you say Gahurn?" "Yeah, why? I though you knew."

Shock, Panic, understanding…..calmness. Too many thoughts. That's right, they don't exist any more. Guess I should be ready for that as well. So, what will he be like this time around….without his toys?

Gendo Ikari is head of Gahurn, a research branch of the military. He patiently awaits the arrival of his son. Their first meeting in a long time, or has it only been months. Gendo knows something doesn't fit but remains himself. Ikari, a man always calm, thoughtful.

Konzo Fuyutsuki, second in command of Gahurn, Ikari's right hand man. They trust each other. Fiutsky knows his commander all too well…"Is something wrong sir?"

"No, everything is fine. You to have an odd feeling?"….silence…."Hmmm, I see." Gendo adjusts his glasses

The elevator ride back to the surface was by all accounts good, but to Shinji's memories none of this happened. But still things where going good, but oh god the ride to the surface was long. Shinji watched the floor counter tick away.

"Your mother, is she well?"

Jumping at the question memories flooded Shinji's mind. He still remembered life with out his mother but there where new ones, ones where his mother was in his life, ones that where much happier. But these two memories mixed together, some made since others did not.

"S-She's doing well." Shinji replied with apprehension.

Gendo adjusted his glasses. Again more silence.

"I'll take you to my apartment, but I need to return to my work. I trust that you can behave your self while in my absence?"

Shinji sighed. "Yes sir…"

Again silence and another floor ticks away on the counter.

"And Shinji…." Gendo paused; Shinji looks over at his father. "I'm…. I'm glad you came to visit."

For being the head of Gahurn, Gendo's apartment was surprisingly small. Only two bedrooms, one used for his own bedroom, and the other as an office away from work. Bathroom and a living room.

"I do not have a lot of food in the kitchen so I will have something delivered shortly." Gendo said as he started to dig around in his pockets. "Here is a key to the apartment."

Shinji placed his gym bag on the floor by the door. The apartment was trashed, much like Misato's apartment was when he first came to her place but minus the beer cans.

"You may use the couch in the living room to sleep on …." Gendo was cut off by his cell phone. "Yes Ikari here… What d you mean that the balance program was no good for the project?" Gendo asked sounding more this a little displeased. Thin he pinched the bridge of his nose. "Vary well I'll be there with in the half hour." Hanging up the phone, he looked back at Shinji. "I must return to my work, the only thing I ask is that you do not use my computer nor disturb any of my papers." Then he walked out of the apartment leaving Shinji.

Again Shinji sighed. "At least some thing is still the same."

After moving his gym bag of close for the weekend closer to the couch he looked for some blankets to use. Then he saw the phone under some papers, so moving them so not to mix up the order they where in Shinji grabbed the phone and looked at the numbers.

"I was to call mother… when I got here…."

So using his thumb, he dialed the numbers like it was second nature but at the same time the numbers where alien to him.

"Yes hello?" (_will you be alright)_ said a female voice from the other end of the phone.

"Mother it's me; I'm over at father's apartment now." Shinji said awkwardly.

"Shinji! How was the train ride?" His mother asked. "Is everything alright I've got this dreadful feeling that something terrible has happened."

'_Yeah right now I should be fighting an angle…'_ Shinji thought. "No mother everything is fine." Shinji replied.

"That's good to hear." Yui said. "Now Shinji I know it's hard but it's only for the weekend and remember your father dose love you…. It's just hard for him to show it. And Shinji I put a box for your sister, can you please take it to her."

'_The Divorce…' _Shinji thought. "Yes mother…"

After talking some more to his mother, Shinji dug out his SDAT player. The one thing that will always be there for him and flopped down on the couch; trying to work out the finer details of what's happened.

'_Weekend visits...'_


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Yeah, we don't own anything of Evangelion. We just like to screw with these fictional people, and the fun we have with it…. So yeah please don't come after with your attorneys, they won't get much from me and my room mate.

**Chapter 2: late Friday night/Saturday morning.**

Waking up for some unknown reason, Shinji looked around the still trashed apartment living room. It took him and moment to place where he was with his new memories, so swing his legs over the side of the couch Shinji found that his fathers couch was vary uncomfortable to sleep on.

"Ouch… my back…." Shinji moaned to him self, then that's when he heard it. The rapid tapping sounds of a computer key board.

So getting up Shinji followed the sound, and the mind numbing glow of a computer screen. Walking to his fathers office, Shinji could here that someone was hard at work, no dought his father.

Peeking in to the room Shinji found he was right. His father was hard at work, but this fact didn't escape Gendo Ikari, he knew someone was peeking in while he was working.

"Did my typing wake you?" He asked in his normal cold tone.

"No." Shinji replied. "I just had to use the bathroom."

"Hum…." Gendo then tapped his glasses up. "I've been working on this auto pilot system for combat pilots, so when they pass out while doing high G maneuvers a computer will start up and complete their mission. I've been thinking about calling it a dummy plug system, what do you think?"

Shinji about jumped back. _'He's got to be kidding!' _Shinji then shook his head. "Why not just call it an emergency auto pilot system?"

Gendo rubbed his chin and thought about it. "I like the sounds of that….. It runs in my mind that I had some pilots I could test this out on…… but I cant remember who they where……" Gendo thought some more. "Ah…. Oh well, it'd come to me later."

Shinji just slowly backed away from his father's office and went back to bed on his uncomfortable couch.

**Saturday morning**

Waking up again, but this time it was because of the sun light shining in through the blinds and right on to Shinji's face. Letting out a disappointed moan, Shinji faced it. It was morning and there was no point to sleep in now he was already up. Sitting up on the couch, Shinji rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and swung this legs over the edge.

"Ouch… my back….."

Walking to the bathroom for a shower and of course to use the bathroom.

Once done with the normal morning things, Shinji started to look for something to eat. And it was much the same as last night. So Shinji was forced to have the left over pizza that his father had delivered. Not Shinji's ideal breakfast, but there wasn't much to choose from. Then he remembered his mothers words.

'_I have a sister…'_ he thought to him self. "But who is she? What is my sister like? And why would I be taking a box to her?" Shinji asked him self, and he searched his new memories. But everything was still jumbled and mixed together, nothing was making since; the only memories that was clear to him was of yesterday, how things was before everything rest and that was it…. "The box?" Shinji said to himself. "Maybe there will be something in there that can help me find her…."

Digging in his gym bag, Shinji found the box. It wasn't big or anything, maybe a little bigger then a shoe box. Placing it on the floor, Shinji looked around the room to make sure that there was no one there. He was the only one there, so he removing the top to the box Shinji found gift cards to various grocery stores and clothing stores, cash; Shinji had figured that it was some where around 100,000 yen with out counting it. and items that that a teenage girl would need. He steered clear of those items. Closing the box Shinji stood up from the floor and headed to the door with the box.

"I guess I should take this to my sister….."

Putting on his shoes, Shinji found a note and some money.

_Shinji, get some lunch and meet me at my work at three._

Shinji let out a sigh. "Well looks like he's a little different."

On his way out, Shinji noticed the time it was nine thirty.

Stepping out the front of the apartment complex, Shinji had no idea where to go. He looked to his right then to his left. Then he turned to his left fallowing what ever felt right. And so Shinji walked, taking a left here and right there, back tracking, taking another right, then a left, and lots more back tracking fallowing anything that felt remotely right, then he finally came to it. Standing in front of a three story apartment complex. It wasn't great nor was it rundown, it was just there, it was ordinary. It was normal.

Looking at the list of residence that lived in the building Shinji saw the name Ikari 362.

"I guess I go there…." He said to himself as he opened the doors to the building. "This is just too strange to me…"

As he walked up the three flights of steps, Shinji passed others that lived there and got smiles and waves. Shinji smiled back. _'I have no idea who these people are.' _Shinji thought to himself.

Then he arrived at apartment 362. Shinji gulped as he brought his hand up. He knocks on the door. then after a second or two of waiting he could hear some on moving around the in side of the apartment, then the door opened. Shinji was speechless; he just stood there looking at the girl that was in front of him.

"What?"

"A-Ayanami?" Shinji stuttered.

"Because I don't live at home I'm not your sister?" Rei said as she placed her hands on her hips.

"N-No….." Shinji replied. _'What the hell? Rei is my sister? I've got to sit down.' _Then the memories started to clear up some more and he remembered why she lives on her own. _'The yelling...'_

"So?" Rei said prompting Shinji to say something.

"M-Mother wants me… that is the… um the box, Mother wanted me to bring this care package to you." Shinji finally was able to say.

Shinji handed the package to Rei.

"Come in sit down…." Rei said as she stepped a side to let Shinji pass.

"Yeah that might be a good idea…."

Walking in to apartment, Shinji saw that the apartment his 'sister' lived at was nicer then the one he remembered her living at. But the state of the apartment was the same as always… Messy. But instead of bloody bandages lying about, there were empty containers of instant noodles, and the failed attempts at cooking along with the trash can over flowing.

"Don't tell me that you're going to get on my case about this place too?" Rei said, noticing him looking around the place.

"Too?" Shinji asked. _'She sounds…so…different. Sure she sounds the same wither quite voice but it's different some how.''_

"Yes, mother stopped by the other day and said something about it." Rei replied with a less then happy tone.

The tone triggered something in Shinji's hazy memories. _'They don't get along… But why…' _Shinji tried searching his memories but still it wasn't clear why Rei lived alone.

"What are you doing, I was just getting ready to head out." Rei said.

"Head out? Where to?" Shinji asked.

"Cram school so I can get in to a good high school." Rei replied with a displeased tone. "Something you should be looking in to."

"Well I was going to find something for lunch and go over to father's office." Shinji replied.

Rei smiled the smile that Shinji would always remember. It was the same as the first time she smiled at him after they fought Raiel. "Well you are my twin brother, I should spend time with you and do some catching up. Mind if I join you?"

A/N: Yo Erkman3 here! Okay as some of you may be able to tell this is going to be a way different AU Evangelion story. and me and my room mate do warn you guys that things can and will get strange. That's just the way we are. to give everyone an idea how strange. While inebriated… heavily (And we'll leave it at that. I have family that read some of these stories I post.) we matched the characters of Evangelion with a drug some are legal and some are illegal. But they for some reason match up with the character perfectly. Well here is the lest and these may some time in the future come up in the story but will not play a huge part in the story.

Shinji mushrooms……obviously. I mean…..COME ON.

Rei smoking.No drug more pure then nicotine. It calms the soul.

Asuka Blow. She is way to high strung for something else.

Toji Acid. Not detectable in a piss test. Perfect for a jock.

Kensuke speed. (Face it he moves around just WAY to much. And he uses Wow just too much.)

Ritsuko over the counters. She pops, and she's a doctor. She has connections.

Gendo multi drug user (What ever sounds good for the day, and he's rich…..why not.)

Misato Drinking (She's already covered)

NERV computer crew"expensive" Pot (Yes all three of them meet in the janitors closet during their lunch break to smoke up, and they just seem way to close. There's something there they aren't sharing with the rest of us. It must be some gooooooood stuff.)

Fuyutsuki Brandy. He just seems so high class.

An Evangelion meth I mean really. Couldn't you see it?

Kaji watermelon soaked in ever clear. He seems like the party type……and it rocks.

Class rep "cheep" Pot (Remember she's cooking way too much for her and her sisters. Yeah right….)

Now please remember that this as just made up for fun and we will never have that children do anything hard core. Maybe the pot the most and they will be short bits, vary short bits like in that 70's show.

**Stoner story number one.**

Shinji, Toji and Kensuke all sitting in a room. It's a comfortable room with a couch and a T.V. simple, just for relaxing and delving into the activities they have just finished. No you pervert, not that…….marijuana. A bowl or two and they are relaxed, sitting, and content.

Shinji sits forward. "You guys want to hear something really fucked up……..?"

(Silence and a giggle)

Shinji relates his story…all of it. I mean the whole thing, how it's supposed to be.

"So……I'm God"

Toji looks back at Shinji, his eyes wide. "So i'm dead?"

Kensuke starts to shake his head back and forth violently. "NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO!"

(Silence and a giggle)

Shinji is sitting forward with his head in his hands. "It makes so much more sense now"

Two minutes of silence pass. Is it awkward……..no. All three of them break out laughing.


End file.
